Mak Kimchee

A lot of Korean cuisine shares three attributes:

1. preservable
2. portable
3. Anyone who hasn't tried it before probably won't eat it.

My friend Tom Pak and I used to theorize that this was because of the number of invasions in the country's history. Locals developed food that invaders would pass up--I mean, how many ravaging Mongols are going to think to not only dig up the kimchee pot, but eat what's inside it?

 Fantastic stuff, though. So, without further ado, I'll show you how to make something that most of your friends won't even recognize as food, no matter how hungry they are. This is awesome dorm food and good for shared job-site refrigerators, too--your lunch will never, ever get stolen.

• 2-3 napa (chinese) cabbages, cut in half 
• Salt - coarse kosher salt is good
• Red pepper -- specifically, Korean red pepper, or gochugaru
• fresh garlic (finely minced)
• shallot (finely minced)
• onion (finely minced)
• more salt 
• 7-up (yes, the soft drink) 
• water 
• ginger (finely minced) 
• 1 teaspoon baby shrimp per large jar 

 Put the cabbages in heavily salted water and soak them for at least two hours, or until they begin to wilt. Wash, drain, chop, and put into a jar with the rest of the ingredients. The 7-up helps the fermentation. Let it sit in the fridge for a couple of weeks before eating.